How to Plan a Bachelorette Party…and Make it Memorable!
You’re here to plan a bachelorette party, and you don’t want to just check the box. You want to pull off the best, most memorable event of the bride’s single life.
The bride is your best friend, sister, or someone else who really means a lot to you, and you know she deserves all the effort and energy this is going to take. And it’s going to take a lot.
We’re going to give you the lay of the land to bachelorette party planning because we want you to be successful. A successful you is a happy bride, which is cardinal rule number 1 when you’re involved with a wedding in ANY capacity.
The first thing you need to know is about expectations. Set them, manage them, and fulfill them. Don’t get caught being a Rachel from Friends when she realizes mid-party that Phoebe had very different expectations of what would occur during her bachelorette party than what Rachel and Monica had planned.
We’re not lying to you or trying to scare you about how much work it is to plan a bachelorette party; we’re just setting the expectation now so you’re prepared. But don’t worry – the level of effort should not intimidate you and make you think the next few months of your life are going to be absolute misery.
The more fun you have with the planning process, the more fun the bride and the rest of her tribe will have with the partying part. It’s just a matter of time and thoughtfulness that you’ll need to put into the planning to reap the rewards, which could include a most grateful bride and a night or weekend full of memories with her best gals that she’ll cherish forever.
To help you begin to tackle this honor of a task, we’ve broken through the ambiguity of bachelorette party planning and divided the operation into five major components: Timeline to plan a bachelorette party, step-by-step how-to, themes and ideas, gifts, and financials.
Timeline to plan a bachelorette party
The first thing you need to know to be able to start planning the bachelorette party is the date of the wedding, and then you can backtrack from there.
You’ll also want to check with the bride on her – yes, you guessed it – expectations. Does she envision having her bachelorette party as close to the wedding as possible, or does she want it far out in advance?
You don’t want to plan a bachelorette party for the NIGHT before the wedding, because we all know how important beauty sleep is by now, and that’s likely when the rehearsal dinner will be held.
But for some brides, maybe the wedding location is somewhere people would want to hang out for a few days (like a Caribbean or European destination wedding), and maybe having the bachelorette party the week of the wedding just makes sense.
The standard is to have the bachelorette party anywhere from a month to four months in advance of the wedding. This is really ideal in many cases, because the closer brides get to their actual wedding day, the more they’re focused on the big event and their dreamy hubby-to-be.
It’s nice to whisk the bride away for her last fling when she has ample time to get back to wedding planning. That way, she can be fully present for her time with the girls and she’ll feel okay about setting her long to-do list aside for the time being.
That said, there really are no hard rules for when the bachelorette party should be, especially considering the various schedules and circumstances that need to be juggled to make it happen.
You do want to make sure you have enough time to plan. Depending on the extravagance and duration of the party – whether it will be one simple night or a weekend full of festivities, planning a bachelorette party could take anywhere from a few hours to a few months.
You have a limited window of time between receiving your role in the wedding and the big day of “I dos.” When the bride asks you to be in her wedding – or more exciting yet – to be her maid of honor, take a few days to relish the privilege and then get to work!
Step-by-Step How-To
Your role in the wedding is established and you will be taking the lead to plan a bachelorette party. So, what’s the actual first step you need to take to get this party started?
Information Gathering
First, find out who the bride wants there, because she may want to invite more than who she’s asked to be in the wedding. Some brides even want their mothers and mothers-in-law to attend, or that may be the expectation the bride would like to uphold.
Once you’ve established the guest list, find out if the bride would like to stay local or do some travelling. She will likely be aware and respectful of any budget limitations among her guest list, so she probably won’t request a trip to Vegas when most people are coming from Maryland if she knows her girls won’t be able to afford that.
It’s also a good idea to see if the bride is dying to go anywhere specific or if she has a particular kind of vibe in mind. If she’s an open book and you know her really well, you may already have a solid idea of what type of bachelorette party setting she would enjoy.
But if not, it would be helpful to hear what she’s envisioning. Maybe she loves the mountains AND the beach, but she’s always pictured her bachelorette party in Atlantic City. Maybe she isn’t typically much of a drinker, but something about playing the slots and trying her hand at Blackjack just seems to her like a rite of passage into her married life.
Next, you’ll want to record all the possible dates of the bride’s availability. Since she’s the guest of honor, her calendar is the most important. She likely also has the busiest calendar at this point, so you need to make sure that you won’t be trying to plan her bachelorette party for the day of her cake tasting or dress fitting.
Ready, Set, Plan!
Once you have these three critical pieces of information – guest list, general location or idea of travel, and the bride’s availability, you have everything you need to jump in and start planning!
If you haven’t already, download the HeadTable app and invite all the members of the bride’s wedding party. You’ll be able to start getting to know each other, maintain the group chat, and save the plans and details everyone decides on.
Once everyone is on HeadTable, you can start the group chat and send out the notes you received from the bride. The first thing you’ll want to decide on is the date. Finalizing your date is a big step and it lets you know how much time you have to plan.
Then, you’ll want to privately request each member’s budget. Have them give you a range and don’t make any promises. Everyone’s range will differ, so you’ll need to figure out the average and do your best to consider it. Thankfully, there are opportunities for some members to spend less or more during the party, so if the ranges you receive vary considerably, factor that into the planning and make sure to have options.
From there, you can decide on the general location considering the bride’s notes, book a place to stay if it is an overnight, and then make any reservations for activities or meals.
How to Plan the Perfect Location for a Bachelorette Party
Themes and Ideas
While a theme isn’t necessary, it could be a nice touch depending on the bride. Some bachelorette partyers simply choose a fun hashtag and make that their theme, finding little ways to make it relevant throughout the party and posting it with every photo.
A more classic kind of theme, like Disney or Harry Potter (based on how big of a fan the bride is), could serve as an inspiration for decorations. Expert @Laurenr.s says that “having a themed bachelorette party does not mean it needs to look like Mickey Mouse puked all over the event. You can incorporate small touches of the theme into the décor or other design elements.”
Lauren planned a Disney-themed bachelorette party for her best friend and had a tank top made that said, “Fairest Bride of all” with a silhouette of Snow White. The rest of the guests chose their own dwarf names like “Feisty” and “Hungry,” which were displayed on their tanks in the Disney font.
While a theme can help add some personal and fun touches, make sure you don’t go overboard with the cheese and keep it simple. Some experts, like @samlovevox, are of the mind that the theme is “getting married,” which is inherently built into the event.
Basically, the theme question depends on the bride and whether or not she is a huge fan of something that she loves to incorporate into her own life already.
Now that you’ve decided on a themed- or non-themed-bachelorette party, you’re onto trying to nail down some solid ideas for what to do. These can vary considerably, depending on the budget of the group. See below for a range of low-budget and high-budget activity ideas:
Low-budget ideas
Hiking
Camping
Pool party with your own playlist
Fun games
Road trip
Dinner in town
Comedy club
Local winery/brewery
Brunch
Dive bar with karaoke
Color Run
Wine and paint class
Making dinner at the house
Movie night
Scavenger hunt
High-budget ideas
Destination with excursions
Austin
Nashville
Key West
New Orleans
Las Vegas
Miami
Sedona
Lake Tahoe
Napa/Sonoma
Disney or Universal Studios
NYC
Destin/Florida beaches
Carolinas
Jersey Shore
California
Mexico
Puerto Rico
Virgin Islands
Wine tour/tasting
Lake or mountain cabin
Beach house
Exclusive club with celebrity DJ
In-home chef
Rent a yacht
Private classes like cooking or yoga
Hire hair and makeup stylists before going out
Spa day or weekend
Cruise
Anything involving flights
Obviously, these lists are not exhaustive and there are so many opportunities to get creative for both low-budget and high-budget bachelorette parties. Besides budget, the activities also depend on the bride’s personality. Is she shy or introverted? Or is she more outgoing and down to go a little wild? Trust your instinct about what the bride would want, and don’t be afraid to ask her for some ideas.
Gifts
When you plan a bachelorette party, you need to consider both gifts for the bride and gifts for the bridal party.
Every bride needs a good lingerie shower incorporated into her bachelorette party, no matter how shy she is. If she could feel awkward about it, make sure that you don’t big-deal it and maybe don’t make her open the gifts in front of everybody.
On the other hand, if she’s feeling bold, she may want to try on her new pieces and star in her own fashion show for the girls. As she opens each piece, have the group come up with a name for the ensemble and record it onto what will become a “menu” for her husband to choose from during their honeymoon.
Gifts for the bridal party don’t need to be anything extravagant. Simple tchotchkes like sunglasses, water bottles, matching t-shirts or pajamas are enough to add a little flair to the festivities and get the girls in the bachelorette partying spirit.
Financials
After all of this, you’re probably wondering how much people should be expected to spend on the bachelorette party. We polled our experts and they said that while it depends on a myriad of factors, as you can see above, a successful bachelorette party should cost each bridal party member somewhere in the range of $400-1,000.
Don’t feel like you need to spend more to have a better time. Consult our list of low-budget ideas and get creative. Sometimes it takes a little more work to find budget-friendly options, but it’s usually worth it. At the end of the day, the bride will care most about everyone being together with her to celebrate this special time.
That’s a wrap
Just remember the most important factors of a bachelorette party – that it’s in line with the bride’s expectations and that everyone the bride wants there can afford to attend. And of course, have fun – with both the planning and the partying! Now that you’re armed with all the ins and outs of how to plan a bachelorette party, it doesn’t seem quite so intimidating, does it?
