The Ins and Outs of Bachelor Party Plans

The groom asks you about bachelor party plans, and if you’re being honest, you immediately picture a hotel room in total disarray with a tiger in the bathroom. You’re not sure if you’re intrigued or freaked.

Jon Lucas and Scott Moore make a bachelor party look extreme, extravagant, and even a little enticing in The Hangover, but you’re probably not looking to find yourself in a situation where you’re bargaining your release from jail so you can make it to the wedding on time.

Wondering how far you do need to go? Or how to make sure the groom has a good time (other than Hollywood’s solution of drugging him)? Don’t sweat it. We’ve broken down the major components of bachelor party plans so you can make sure you know exactly what you’re getting into as you get this party started.

From whose responsibility it is to make the actual bachelor party plans, the timeline of planning and partying, the guest list, and tangible ideas for what to do, to the nuances of group dynamics, surprises, finances, and gifts – we’ve got you covered.

Read on to find out how to throw the best bachelor party for your best bud (don’t worry – it’s not as complicated as it seems).

Bachelor party plans

Whose responsibility is it?

If you’re reading this, you probably already know that it’s your responsibility to make the bachelor party plans. You’ve likely been asked to be the best man, which sounded cool when the groom asked you but now you’re finding out about exactly what that means.

First of all, it’s definitely an honor. Out of all the men in his life, he chose you to stand by him on the most important day of his life.

Keeping the wedding rings safe, giving the best man speech, and planning his bachelor party are your biggest responsibilities. While we can’t help you with the rings or the speech – other than advising that you NOT bring the rings to the bachelor party – we do know a thing or two about party planning.

While you’re the primary man in charge, don’t feel like you need to do this all on your own. Enlist the other guys in the wedding party and don’t be afraid to delegate. Some may want to help, and they may even have some resources like a beach house you can all stay in or a hookup to a show.

Others may be totally quiet and minimally responsive to planning messages – and then they end up being the loudest and most animated partyers – and that’s fine too.

Just figure out how much help you’d like, and then see what you’ve got to work with. Some best men make all the plans themselves and simply invite the other members of the wedding party to participate. Others get some polls going and really value the input from the whole guest list.

The advice is usually not to invite too many cooks into the kitchen. If you want others to help out, give them specific decisions they can weigh in on. Don’t give anyone your co-pilot hat, unless there are two of you as best men.

Each bachelor party group is unique and will have its own way of getting things done.

When should this all go down?

The Hangover is actually a pretty great resource for you – of what NOT to do. Do not make the bachelor party plans for the night or weekend before the wedding.

While your chances of getting entangled in as grand a scheme as Bradley Cooper and the rest of The Hangover crew did are slim, it’s still a risk to be out all night before the wedding and compromise sleep, or to realize you missed a few applications of sunblock on the lake and now your skin is as red as the bride’s lipstick, which will forever be captured in wedding photos.

Not to mention – you do not want to have to answer to the bride as to why her groom is nodding off standing up next to her when he’s supposed to be reciting his vows.

A good rule of thumb is to plan the bachelor party for one to four months before the wedding. This will largely depend on the various schedules of the group, because everyone’s busy and it can be difficult to match up a whole weekend or even a day.

Considering the scheduling challenge, you should get started with making plans as soon as you’re asked to be in the wedding and/or as soon as you know the wedding date.

At the very least, nail down a bachelor party date as soon as you can, and then you can take a little more time on the rest of the plans (depending on whether or not this wedding is on the fast track or a year or more away).

Considering what you have in mind, it can take a few months to make some solid, successful plans. If reservations of any kind are involved (house/hotel stays, dinners, etc.), you’ll need to book several months ahead of time, especially if you’re planning for a popular season.

Who gets invited?

Obviously, the rest of the groomsmen get invited to the bachelor party, but don’t assume that’s everyone the groom wants to party with. He may have some other friends or family he’d like to join – maybe even his dad or an uncle or two!

There are no hard rules for what a bachelor party should be like and who should be involved. The most important aspect is the groom’s preferences. Make sure you talk to him and get enough intel about what he’s expecting.

Wedding parties are typically limited, but bachelor parties don’t have to be. Plus, the more guys who go, the more people you have to split certain costs. If you’re trying to follow a limited budget, this can be a nice advantage, but we’ll discuss costs in more detail later.

You should find out if the groom wants to invite any co-workers or friends in other social groups of his life who you may not know about. You may wish it could just be your core group of buddies from college, but the groom is likely going to want to invite some other guys he’s gotten close to since then.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime event, after all.

What if we don’t all know each other?

One of the biggest challenges you’re going to have will be corralling a bunch of guys who you may or may not know, and who may or may not know each other.

Oftentimes, bachelor parties consist of the dudes from all the groom’s walks of life. This may mean that few or none of you have ever met before. That can make things difficult when you don’t know what kind of personalities or budgets you’re working with.

One of the best resources you’re going to find to help you deal with this challenge will be the HeadTable app. With HeadTable, bachelor party plans become simple and efficient.

You can get the rest of the groomsmen on the app and start getting a feel for each other from Day 1 of knowing you’re in a wedding together, before you even meet in person. Check out each other’s profiles, send messages to each other, and get big decisions made quickly and easily with group polls.

Plus, HeadTable allows you to save the entire bachelor party’s schedule and details, so you don’t have to go sifting through old messages or worrying about a long Google Doc.

When you’re able to get a head start on getting to know the other partyers, it makes things a whole lot less awkward and ensures everyone has more fun during the bachelor party.

What do we do?

Finally, the million-dollar question. What in the world does a bachelor party consist of? The most basic answer to that question is…absolutely anything. Each bachelor party should have its own personality, just like each groom does.

This is where talking to the groom before you start any planning really comes in handy. Even if you think you know the groom pretty well, he may have a vision for his bachelor party that you know nothing about.

He could have some very particular ideas of what he wants to do and what he wants it to be like. Or he could not! That would be helpful to know too, because then you have a lot more options. More options could mean more work or harder decisions, but it could also mean more fun.

The biggest elements of a good bachelor party are good food, lots of drinks (if that’s something they’re into – remember, not everybody drinks or wants to get totally plastered at their bachelor party – but many do!) and something fun to do.

The classics involve a weekend beach or lake house or a casino resort, like Atlantic City or Vegas. Make sure to do your research and read the reviews about the best places to stay and eat.

Some lower key ideas might include attending a sporting event or a concert and a nice dinner out or a round of golf and a clubhouse lunch, both of which can easily be accomplished in one day.

Take whatever notes the groom gives you and then assess what you know about him and how modest or intense he’ll want the event to be. Keep in mind that the party should be something the groom enjoys, not necessarily what you have in mind as a what bachelor party should be.

Are bachelor party plans supposed to be a surprise?

Not necessarily. Again, this depends on the groom. Does he want to be surprised or does he want to tell you exactly what he wants to do to make sure the party meets his expectations?

Some grooms want some element of surprise. Perhaps they’ll throw out some general ideas or vibes and let you and the other groomsmen interpret that as you will. Usually, women are more into the surprise aspect than men.

If it is a surprise, just make sure it’s in line with his personality and his interests so that he isn’t disappointed when it’s too late to do anything about it.

How much is this going to cost me?

Not all bachelor parties are created equally, and that’s okay. Everyone has different budgets, lifestyles, and comfort levels with spending money.

Try not to feel self-conscious about your own personal limit, whether it’s a smaller or larger one. Your budget is what it is, and the sooner you’re upfront about it – and the clearer you are about it – the smoother the whole planning process will be for everyone.

As the one who’s making the bachelor party plans, part of your role should include initiating the conversation about budgets with the rest of the wedding party. That’s one of the most critical primary steps in planning a bachelor party.

If you don’t know the financial boundaries of the group before you begin, you could be setting yourself up for some sticky situations. Say you assume everyone is comfortable with spending up to $1,000 for the whole trip, and all the options of places you find to stay will end up costing each person two-thirds of that. You may be putting someone in an awkward position to step forward and say he can’t afford to go.

On the other end, if everyone in the group is comfortable with spending more, you’re going to want to know that! You need to gather all the critical information before you set out to complete your mission.

What’s most likely to happen, is that everyone in the group will have varying budgets. In that case, you’re going to need to stick as close to the lowest budget as possible. There are certain things that everyone will split and pay the same amount for, but there are also ways to ensure people have options and can spend less or more as they wish.

Meals are always easiest to just total up and split, but some people get upset by this because it is one way to save and scale back. The HeadTable app actually has a feature that allows you to track expenses for each person.

So, get the initial awkward convo about budgets out of the way, and then leave the rest to HeadTable. You won’t have to follow up with anyone about settling up, because HeadTable will do that for you.

Usually, bachelor parties tend to cost each person going between $500-$1,000, depending on how extravagant the plans.

Does this count as my gift?

Good question. No, the bachelor party does not count as your gift to the groom, although you should not expect the groom to pay for anything. Planning and paying for the groom’s bachelor party just comes with the territory of being in the wedding party.

Speaking of gifts, though, it is customary to plan for small tchotchke-type gifts for everyone attending the bachelor party. Things like t-shirts, fun sunglasses, beer glasses, etc.

If you’re Marylanders, personalized crab mallets are always a hit and always useful. These gifts just help set the party mood and get everyone in the spirit of having a good time. Plus, they can be fun keepsakes, which guys appreciate more than you might think.

That’s it! Seems like a lot to consider, but don’t make it more work than it has to be. Just make sure you get a good head start, invite everyone the groom wants to be there, kick things off on HeadTable, have the initial budget convo, and plan some fun activities in line with the groom’s personality.

The rest that goes into successful bachelor party plans will fall in place from there.